Blog by Diane Donovan-Vaughn
(warning – trauma and politics)
I stand for compassion, peace and love. Liberals accuse me of being a Conservative. Conservatives accuse me of being a Liberal. Like many in America, I am often in the middle of the road forced to choose between the lesser of two evils in major elections. I am a therapist, peace minister, author, facilitator, mentor, shaman and healer.
For over thirty years now, I have been bearing witness to the trauma stories that client after client talk about in therapy. In fact, at a recent trauma training, the presenter said that our current Diagnostic Manual (DSM-5) should be rewritten to be a manual of trauma, which causes addictions, personality disorders, and mental illness in the mind and society.
For all these years I hear horror story after horror story while helping to facilitate the healing of sexual abuse, sexual harassment, violence of all types, addiction hell, verbal and emotional abuse, neglect and the like. I read studies about the unbelievable number of children sexually abused, sometimes a number stating that as many as half the women in this country experience sexual abuse before adulthood. Even if it is one woman or man, it is too many.
Men are abused and bullied in childhood as well. They often are too embarrassed to talk about it. Some men tell me that Middle School was the worst time in their life. Abuse and bullying of boys can begin in the bathroom in Elementary school. Quickly, some young boys learn to hold their bowel movements to avoid being laughed at for entering a stall. Yes, urinals are not good for men. In fact, if I had time I would be picketing for elected officials to demonstrate some knowledge of simple human growth and development before they can legislate rules about children.
I would be crying all the time about the trauma stories I hear except I am busy listening and focusing on healing and now I have been desensitized and have a slight case of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from listening to them. My family can judge me to be a radical since I have so much knowledge of the problems that humans endure and no tolerance for abuse.
I am a Radical. I stand for compassion, peace and love.
Abuse happens because of fear. Fear churns up hate and discord, setting the world aflame. Love sets it free.
When Bill Clinton ran for president, I could not vote for him because I knew he was a sex addict. When Donald Trump ran for president, I could not vote for him because he is a blatant sex addict, flaunting his ability to abuse women and get away with it. I voted for Hilary Clinton, reluctantly but did not want her to be president because she is still married to Bill Clinton and as far as I can ascertain she has never taken a stand against his behavior and supported the women he harassed. She is one of those women he has harassed and she has been unable to defend herself or anyone else. Has he ever gone to treatment for his sexual addiction or admitted it?
I wanted to vote for Bernie Sanders and actually changed my party affiliation to Democrat to vote in the primary because he seems to be compassionate. I do not vote for a party. I vote for integrity and compassion if or when it will ever be available.
In my mind, the reason we have #metoo and #timesup movements is directly the result of these two parties offering us a sex addict candidate and woman married to a sex addict to choose between in the last presidential election. Finally, you have irritated women beyond our tolerance and denial and fear. Women are once again a movement thanks to the last presidential election. It is time for time to be up and for women to honestly admit what we have tolerated for too long.
It is slap in the face of all female abuse and harassment victims to have a sex addict in government. To blatantly say that this behavior can be condoned and left untreated in our elected officials, in our bosses and in our society is unconscionable. We deserve better. Our sons and daughters deserve better. The world deserves better. We deserve a hero, honor, integrity and someone who loves. You do not have to be perfect to be a hero. You can admit you are weak, apologize and seek treatment and stay out of government while you learn the way.
We live in a world where my daughter at thirteen years old, could not be allowed to walk alone to the corner store and where now my granddaughter is not safe to walk outside either. No female walks through this world without some sort of sexual harassment and that is why me too! Now, many fear that their sons and daughters will be shot. Yes, we live in a world where our males young and old are shooting people. Now, I hear those trauma stories too from the Las Vegas shooting incident.
The solution to what ails our world is for leaders to be elected who have compassion, who serve humanity and the world. Government is for serving the people. Men and women need to see a hero, a person with love and integrity. We need a person who reveres life and knows the truth that “the ego seeks but never finds”(A Course in Miracles). Never will greed satisfy the mind. The soul seeks union with oneness. The ego cannot see anything but itself, separate and lost.
Please send us a hero. Send us someone who loves. Send us someone who is connected to life, someone compassionate.
Maybe, we can focus on being the compassionate person we wish to see and then see our world healed and safe. I practice peace, love and compassion. Sometimes, I fail but I keep on returning to the path over and over. Join me. It isn’t always easy. But it is the loving way. All you will lose is your fear.