Blog by Diane Donovan-Vaughn 09/01/2018

“I am the love of my life.” For over a year now, I have been strongly suggesting to everyone, including myself, to say, “I am the love of my life,” every time you see your reflection. Make a practice to say it every day over and over.

Although this practice alone is capable of bringing great healing, it is not the complete secret of healing everything.

The first key to healing everything in life is to first observe and accept how we currently manifest our illnesses and lack in life. This observation is not that easy because those voices in the head are quick and believable. They tell us what to say to others when we speak as we forget that we are spinning realities whenever our mouths open and words come out. Begin observing the words you use when you talk to others, while you notice the obvious and not so obvious reasons you use them. For example, a not so obvious reason for speaking certain words would be the need to make people like us or to impress others with our great knowledge and skill. Another not so obvious reason for using words would be to obtain energy from those around us. Notice the words you choose and the feelings they give you and others. Are your words uplifting, filled with love? If not, they are most likely based on fear.

As you watch what you say, notice the people around you. Notice what your voices in your head say about others you encounter. Notice how others judge you. Lately, I have been observing my own judgmental voices as I work on letting go of judgment altogether. As you look at any judgment of others, begin to go back to the second just before you had that judgment. It is in that tiny segment of time that you will find a feeling, a fragile feeling about energy that you might have missed. You may even see that the fragility you encounter inside your feelings is why it is easier to judge another than to admit you cannot tolerate a feeling. It is a form of what the Toltec shamans call “domestication” when you ignore who you really are and choose to avoid punishment or weakness and to seek reward even when both of these actions have absolutely no relevance to who and what we really are.   Remember, look inside the center of your chest to find your true self. The soul or higher power is really simple, a binary system of like or dislike and yes or no. All those voices and words in the head we hear explaining our choices are often just filled with words of domestication and energy games. For example if someone says, “Diane do you want a cat?” My true self says ‘No’ but the voices in my head begins to justify my no and has a feeling that I need to defend the reputation of all cats even though I am allergic to them. If that continues, I could end up with a cat and an asthma attack.

Observe the voices in your head about your illnesses and lack. These voices can be filled with fear and judgments. They can generate depression and anxiety, with a general feeling of dread and hopelessness. Think about a time when you have had a pain somewhere, like a pain in the back. When you get a pain, the mind or voices start telling you various strategies basically based on fear of dying or being incapacitated. Some people are told by their mind to ignore the pain, suck it up and keep moving. Some people start worrying about possible outcomes. When pain or lack occurs, the voices in the head will inevitably be drawn to or repelled by the problem. Observe that your own fear or avoidance actually keep you from the true secret of healing. As I focus on pain or lack, it intensifies it because the fearful energy I put forth comes back to me. As I avoid my pain or lack, it intensifies it because the energy that causes me to avoid is still fear.

Once you have observed your words, the voices in the head, your motivations, your energy games and whether you focus on your problems or avoid them, then you are ready for step two of the secret of healing everything.

Step two is forgiveness. People think that forgiveness is about letting someone else off the hook for something bad they have done. However, this forgiveness I am talking about is found in the center of your being, inside your binary system of yes or no, like or dislike. Forgiveness is for something that happens that you do not like. Forgiveness allows you to first not like something and second to forgive what you do not like. Surrendering to the truth that you just simply do not like something places the focal point of power back in your lap, allowing you the grand power of forgiving it.

Take forgiveness one step further and begin to extend it toward your own physical pain and so-called weakness. Turn your attention toward a physical problem you have and say, “I forgive you” and name the body part such as your back as you say, “I forgive you back.”

I also always ask my body what it wants from me and listen to its answer. However, I still need a lot of practice remembering to forgive my body and my feelings for acting or feeling in ways that are painful or what I consider weak.

Forgiveness might be the most crucial step in healing everything because as long as we resent what is happening, we will not heal.

Finally, step three is love of course. Sending love to every situation is the warrantee on this system of healing. It guarantees that love will increase wherever we direct it. Only love returns when we send it out and only fear returns when send out fear. The challenge is to continually observe, forgive and love in the face of energies we cannot stand, to forgive and love you enough to understand this fragility of being human. The higher self or true self knows its limits. Forgive your limits and be the love of your life.

Think again about a lack or a pain you have had or one you have currently. I don’t know about you but when I have a pain, I focus on it with fear and worry. I attempt to help it with potions, remedies, medications and corrections. However, it had never occurred to me that every time I have a pain I could simple observe the pain while sending it forgiveness and love. Potions, remedies, medication and corrections may magically arrive or occur because of this loving practice. As you practice, you will notice that the body relaxes and is grateful for the forgiveness and love you send it. Even if you are dying, this practice could bring you the secret healing for everything because the mind does not even know what the secret healing really is. Maybe the secret is simply to surrender all judgment, offer forgiveness and become love. Do not assume again with your mind that it can define your healing. Only your true self can show you the way. Allow love to be your guide and practice the secret for healing everything – observation, forgiveness and love.

Today the daily meditation from Living a Life of Awareness – Meditations on the TOLTEC Path by Don Miguel Ruiz Jr. is titled “Quieting the Mind” (page 4).

Ruiz said, “In the Toltec tradition we have a concept we call Mitote, which represents the thousand voices that occupy the mind, all of which are vying for our attention.

“Some narrators may speak from distortion, while others may speak from truth. The loudest ones usually manifest in the form of an attachment. Reason helps us tell the difference between the two, but if we become attached, it can be difficult to distinguish the difference between the truthful voices and from the distorted ones. Depending on which narrators we are attracted to, we will perceive the world through their narration, thus creating our world in their image.

“With awareness, we realize there is a deep silence that exists behind all of those voices, in the space between thoughts. One way to quiet the mind is to listen to that silence. If we look at our reflection and into our eyes, we will see what lies beyond them; we will see the truth.

“There is no need to chase love, because we are love. Turn off the volume on your narrators, the voice of our knowledge, and simply engage the present. Release your attachment to what you expect to see, so you can see beyond it. At that point, the true image of love will appear.”

Ruiz Practice: “Take the next few moments to quiet your mind by listening to the silence deep within you. When the mind is quiet, see yourself and others as pure love.”


Close your eyes and breathe deeply, inhaling through the nose and exhaling through the mouth. Allow yourself to relax into that deep silence inside you.

As you relax inside the center of your true being, say to yourself: “I accept you. I forgive you. I love you.” If you have lack in your life, feelings you do not like or physical problems that plague you, direct your forgiveness and love toward those areas and say again: “I surrender. I forgive you. I love you.” Notice a deep relaxing exhale as your whole being embraces the love you send to it.